Humidity + Sharknadoes

I got Blogger to turn back into English. Thank heaven. It involved several lucky clicks, turning the language to Russian, then turning it back to English.

I mean, I'm still logged into my Google account, so why does it change the language based on my geographic location? YOU KNOW MY WHOLE LIFE, GOOGLE. LET'S JUST KEEP EVERYTHING ENGLISH, OK???

When I found out I was going to Taiwan this July, I told a friend who had served her mission in Taiwan. She said (of course), "You'll love it!!" But also, "It's the hottest time of the year. It's super hot and humid."

Butt I didn't really know what "humid" meant.

I'd never visited a tropical climate before and I've only lived in California, Utah, and Russia, so saying that something was"humid" didn't really have any meaning for me.

Well, when I stepped out of the airport in Taipei and really experienced humidity for the first time, there are no words to express what I felt. The closest I can come to explaining it is waving my hands in front of my face with my tongue out. It's like being in a badly ventilated male dorm room. It's not a good feeling at first. Or ever.

But you can get used to it.

At first, all I could do was shake my hands and stick my tongue out to deal with the humidity (it didn't help), but over these past couple days, I've grown accustomed to it. Thankfully, God invented houses and those sacred edifices keep that stale air outside away. Also, air conditioning is a big plus. But your body just gets used to to it. At least my skin's not dry!! (#Utah)

The humidity isn't the only new thing.

Since I'm in a tropical climate and it's July, that means a bunch of typhoons are headed this direction. A typhoon is a hurricane except Asian (but NOT in a racist way). Again, being from California/Utah, hurricanes/typhoons aren't really a thing I know about. The only time I hear about hurricanes or typhoons is when they've flooded entire cities or have sharks flying around in them,

So when, on my first day here, my Taiwan boss lady announced, "Today is typhoon day!" like it's just laundry day or time to clean the fridge, I'm like, "So I SHOULDN'T be wearing a life jacket just in case?"

Typhoons are just very rainy and windy storms (duh), but as long as you're away from the ocean, you should be able to avoid any sharknadoes or flooding. For this last typhoon, we were in a sweet spot where we only got a lot of rain and a little wind. So I guess that typhoons can be fun even if they aren't deadly.

So Taiwan's fun! Lots of new stuff, but none of it has killed me. So now what?

Pics from my morning runs:

Going to Taiwan

Google automatically translated Blogger into Mandarin Chinese for me. Thank heaven or I'd I have a real struggle reading anything right now* (*I'm having a real struggle reading anything right now).

My flight to Taiwan was supposed to take off Tuesday at 1 am, BUTT the travel gods had something different in store because right after my boarding pass got printed out, the computer system crashed and the airplane's engines stopped working and the pilot spontaneously died. I don't actually know what went wrong, I just know that the flight was delayed until 12 pm on Tuesday, which means I got put up in swanky hotel for the night (LAX Hilton, baaaaaaby!). After being shuttled back to the airport the next morning, I hopped on an airplane bound for Shanghai, China!

Why am I going to Taiwan, you ask? 12 other American lucky ducks and I will be spending the next three weeks practicing conversational English with Taiwanese high schoolers in the greater Taipei area. Our compensation is free travel (including the flight to and from Taiwan), housing, food, and sightseeing while we're here. So it's a sweet dill pickle!!!!

Anyway, the thirteen-hour flight was pretty great. I LOVE movies, so 13 hours of just me and a screen is pretty great!!! I watched four and a half movies, two of them rated R (so edgy!!) because they're edited (most the time) on airplanes (cuz I'm that Mormon). (The King's Speech made me think-cry. Twelve Years a Slave was just depressing and made me want to punch Michael Fassbender.)

Right before landing in Shanghai, we were shown an instructional video of how to perform in-seat tai chi to return regular blood circulation to the body. (Basically, it's just Deb from Napoleon Dynamite telling you to imagine you're in the middle of the ocean surrounded by tiny little seahorses but it's an Asian and he's a man.) After 13 hours of sitting, the tai chi legit did make me feel really good!!! I recommend it for everyday people!

The Shanghai airport was a nifty place. Some people are so small they can fit in their own suitcases, you get a little emotional realizing that this is where Mulan saved the world, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe that basically everything I own was originally from China. Such a great place!!

After getting Shanghai'ed (lol!), we jumped onto the three-hour flight to Taipei. That was cool because most the members of my group got bumped up to first class since we’d missed our original flight. It was an experience like no other: chairs that recline to a horizontal position, complimentary dragon fruit, enough leg room to do real tai chi, and coasters. First class is lyyyyfe!!

We landed in Taiwan at 10 pm-ish. I smelled so bad and was so tired. Thankfully, I had a nice hotel room bed to sleep in (with my main man Bruce Mangelson #LoveWins).

Now we’re getting ready for English camp next week and (apparently) a typhoon. I probably should have brought more socks.

Such a struggle to post pictures.

新增說明文字

新增說明文字

Me and Jacob (friend) about to fly out of LA.

Bear (BUTT?) Lake

JK. BUTT I did moon someone (aka my sister) over Snapchat last week. That's what it's for, right?

So my broth Stanley came to Utah (he NEVER comes to Utah) because his cool wife's family was up in Cache Valley for a family reunion. WELL, since I live in Utah and my sister lives in Utah and my other sister always come to Utah for 4th of July week, we all decided it'd be cool to crash their reunion because he's our brother and he's way legit.

So we all drove up to Bear Lake ("Bear" not "Bare" lol) to play in the water and have a good family time.

Bear Lake is on the Utah-Idaho border, so I was expecting to be be horrible because
1) Idaho
2) I googled pictures and there were no trees
3) It's WAY north = FREEZING water
4)  Family time  jkjkjkjkjkjkjk

We hopped in the car at 11-ish and got to Bear Lake at 2-ish, but the drive is pretty pritt (because Cache Valley is pretty pritt) so the three hours weren't too bad. I just sat in the back of my sister's minivan and read Harry Potter while my nephew told me how lame I am (but it's okay because he's SIX and I'm TWENTY-FIVE so I can handle it).

We stopped at a shake place by the lake (there's about fifty, so just choose one) and got raspberry milkshakes because (apparently) raspberries are THE THING here. It was really good and I liked it. ~Mmmm. So creamy. Mmmmm.~

Random child crawled onto me begging for a milkshake.

After that, we headed to the north shore because that's where brother said to go.

AND IT WAS PERFECT.

Yes, it WAS Idaho, but there were SOME trees (so it was pretty) and the water was WARM.



The water was crystal blue and SUPER shallow for about 100-feetish out, so it was SUPER warm. I could just sit and pee anywhere and no one would notice because the water was already warm. We literally just sat in the foot-deep water for four hours, throwing mud at each other and trying to move as little as possible. No children drowned because the water was so shallow AND nobody got sunburnt (too much) because we applied sunscreen every hour (SO IMPORTANT).

Me and the sibs having a good time.

It was a great time I would do it again if someone drove me (but it'd be nice to sit next to a nice six-year-old this time).

Didn't love Italy

The port of Lazise on Lake Garda. It's way pritt.

Honest truth about Italy: lots of pros, lots of cons.

Let's start with the cons.

Cons: Tourists up your wazoo, creepy hobos, don't Couchsurf here, you have to pay to get into almost everything, and train stations are crazy confusing.

Italy is a pain. Of all the places I visited, I felt the most unsafe in Italy.

First, you're constantly surrounded by people. I visited MILAN (not even Rome, which I'm sure is crazier) in the middle of freaking JANUARY (it was 40ºF) and there were tourists EVERYWHERE. It was frustrating because I like to avoid the crowds and experience the country as untouristy as possible, but I don't think that's possible in Italy. The crowds are huge and people are everywhere. Summer must be straight CRAY. (BUTT: I was able to escape the crowds in smaller towns like Verona and Lazise.)

Verona at twilight.

Second, you'd think you're safe because of all the crowds, but the hobos aren't afraid to single anyone out. I was walking with my host in Milan and I had hobos shove birdseed in my hands, try to tie a bracelet to my wrist, and try to "help" me buy a ticket at a train station. After doing stuff like this, hobos try to get you to pay for whatever they've forced on you ("Ten euro for the birdseed!" "You stole that bracelet! Pay me for it!" "You owe me this much for helping you buy your ticket!"). You have to be very assertive and just be like, "No, I don't want it, I'm not gonna pay for that."

In general, I tried to share my money and food with the homeless I saw in other countries, but these guys were so obnoxious I didn't want to give them anything just in case they tried to pull something on me.

Thanks to this hobo, I got this sweet picture of me being attacked by birds. Also, he tried to take 10 euro from me.

Also, the Couchsurfing options in Italy are iffy. Half the profiles I read while looking for a place to stay either said they were nudists or nudist-friendly, which isn't inherently bad, but can turn bad real easy (especially since you don't know these people IRL). So, unless you feel REALLY comfortable with naked strangers, stay in a hostel or hotel.

Another downside of the country is that the economy is based mainly on tourism (which makes sense --> see four paragraphs above), so it costs money to get into EVERYTHING. Take pictures in the Duomo? Three euro. Go to the roof of the Duomo? Six euro. Go into almost any cathedral and you'll get charged an entrance fee (UNLESS you're with a local -- then it's free). So be ready with a lot of pocket change to get into what you want to see.

On the roof of the Milan Duomo. That's my host up front with the hair.

Also, Italian train stations are worse than American DMV's. Get in line to get a number, get a number, wait for your number to be called (in Italian), then get your train ticket without any platform number or departure time printed on it (it's basically just a blank piece of paper). It's silly. I'd recommend getting a local to help if you can (but NOT a hobo -- remember).

So that's what sucks about Italy, but let's end on a positive note.

Pros: Everything is super old, there's lots of history; it's a very small country, so you can land in any airport and be in another part of the country in a couple of hours; and the food is fantastic!

A Roman arch in Verona.

Italy has had a huge influence on the world since before Christ was born. For over 2,000 years, this small country has influenced the ENTIRE world's art, government, food, education, architecture, and religion. That's crazy! Because of this, it's worth taking a little looksie at Italy if you're planning a trip to Europe.

Because people have lived in Italy for forever, there are cities built on cities built on cites and cathedrals built on cathedrals built on cathedrals. In some areas, you can see an older city's foundation under the streets of the current city. In Chiesa di San Fermo in Verona, one cathedrals sits on top of an older cathedral underground (that you can go down and look at), which is on top of another older cathedral! It's like a Catholic sandwich! (But old and made of stone, so don't eat.)

The foundation of an older city under the streets of Verona, Italy.

There are multiple cathedrals in every city you'll visit, and at least one of them is bound to take your breath away. The most amazing churches I saw were the Milan Duomo and the Cathedral of St. Anastasia in Verona.

The Duomo is legitly hugenormous outside and covered in intricate carvings and statues (you could spend hours looking at the outside walls of the Milan Duomo), but you don't completely appreciate how big and beautiful it is until you go inside. It's dark and cavernous, gives you Mines-of-Moria-esque feelings, and amazes the living butt off of you.

Milan Duomo

The Cathedral of St. Anastasia is also huge, but I mainly loved its architecture and paintings inside. The inside is full of arches and the ceiling is painted with a real cool floral pattern.

Inside St. Anastasia's.

**NOTE: I'm not usually an artsy person who appreciates things like architecture and culture, but Italy (one of the birthplaces of western art and architecture) straight-up knocked my socks off and made me notice things I'd never appreciated before.

Also, real Italian pizza makes a day in the country worth it. It tastes nothing like American pizza: the crust is thin and bubbly, the sauce is tangy, the cheese isn't greasy, and the toppings are completely fresh. (If you want a taste of authentic Italian pizza, visit Terra Mia in Orem).

It's really Italian and really pizza.

Overall, I'd say that Italy is worth a two-to-three-day stopover. One day to see a big city and get annoyed by tourists/freaked out by hobos, and one day to see a small town and appreciate the slightly less-touristy part of Italy.

Norwegia, Norway

When I first met Nils Andersen, I was living in Izhevsk, Russia, with Zhenya Kazakov. I asked Nils where he was from and he said, "Oslo," and I said, "Where's that?" Then he and Kazakov laughed at me for being a stupid American who didn't know anything about geography and told me that OSLO is the capital of NORWAY. (P.S. I accidentally called it NORWEGIA half the time after that anyway, so jokes on them.)

Highlights from my mission aside, Oslo is the capital of NORWAY which is in EUROPE which is where I went in January. I decided to visit this beautiful country after seeing Internet pictures and watching "Frozen" a lot. Also, I think Nils is pretty cool and he invited me to visit.

So, after England, I snuck over to Oslo for a three-day visit. It was snowy, icey, and rainy, and my feet STILL hadn't dried from England, but I loved it. The snow, ice, and rain made for some beauti-freakin-beautiful scenery and some GREAT pictures (my favorite pics from my trip are from England and Norway).

Plus, the language is no big because everyone here speaks English. So cool!!!

I honestly think Norway would be better to visit after March, but that's only because  tours of the Royal Palace and boat tours of Oslofjord were closed and wouldn't open until mid-March, so now I know.

BUTT I did see some pretty sick stuff and here's what it was:

Oslo City Hall

I accidentally stumbled onto this building. The outside looks really soviet (gray and depressing), BUT there is a cool clock and wood carvings outside. Anyway, I went inside and my jaw DROPPED like the bass at your mama's birthday. There's a MASSIVE great hall (HP lingo because europe) and every wall is covered in murals. Also, each bathroom stall has its own sink. It was WAY fancy and nice and one of my top 3 buildings in Europe (don't ask what the other two are).

Royal Palace

Norway still has a monarchy and just like England, I'm not sure what it does. Anyway, like I said, the palace was closed when I was visiting, so be sure to stop by and tell me about it if you're here after March!

Vigeland Sculpture Park AKA Naked Park in Oslo

Pro tip about Norway: there are a lot of naked statues and murals everywhere. To the Norwegians, it's not weird. So the fact that there's a park full of nude statues of men and women doing weird things (like juggling babies) doesn't really throw off anyone here. And asking why the statues are all naked doesn't really get an answer. And apparently, this place is the #1 tourist attraction in Oslo. So don't miss it. But be prepared. FOR NAKED.

Kulturkirken (pronounced "kultur-heer-kin")

This building is so amaze-balls inside and out. Look at the intricate carvings on the outside door, then look at the ceiling inside and listen to the organ. Usually, I HATE the organ, but the whole building feels to special and great. And there's an altar where you can write a prayer and the priests will pray for you. ...... ....

Oslo Opera House

Again, another thing that's cooler after winter. The opera house's roof slants down so you can walk from the ground level to the top, BUTT in winter, it's too icey. So. Also fancy bathrooms.

Eat the seafood

This guy's selling shrimp out of his FISHING BOAT. I don't even LIKE seafood, but even smelling it raw made me want to try this stuff because it's so fresh! (I didn't, cuz I forgot to eat half the time on this trip. I was TOO BUSY DOING THINGS.)

SKI!

Skiing was basically invented in Norway, SO I HAD to go skiing. Pro tip: spend the first two hours falling over, then spend the last hour actually having fun! That's what I did! I rode the metro up to Frognerseteren and skied. I made lots of mistakes, but I have videos about how to do it WITHOUT making mistakes. And I should post those.

Explore Oslofjord and take sick pix!

PRO TIP: Oslofjord isn't a real fjord. It doesn't have hills on either side with water in between: it's basically just a bay with no hills around it. But it's still beauty-ful. Even though the tourist tours were closed, I jumped on a random ferry to a random peninsula in Oslofjord and took lots of pictures. It was a good time. But I did get hungry.

Go shopping at Underground

I lost my beanie on the bus from the Rygge Airport, so I got on google and found a close-by thrift store, hence I came toUnderground (UFF). It's actually a vintage shop, which means they don't take anything newer than 1980. There were sweet sweaters, reindeer bags, sealskin boots, and all sorts of other things that would make PETA mad. I bought a sweet hat and wanted to buy everything else.

Eat the weird crap Nils gives you.

Norway has a weird cuisine. Aside from the seafood smelling good, they also like to eat liver, jam on meatballs, lots of frozen pizza, and bacon in a tube. The pic above is "brown cheese" with jam on bread. It tasted like old-ish cheese with jam on it. The combo of cheese + jam made it a little creamy, but still weird. So take your taste buds on an adventure!

Find this random statue of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Riiiiight?


Norway was a blast and a half! I want to give a big shout-out to Nils and his awesome wife Natali for letting me crash on their couch for three days and helping me find and do all the cool things to do in Oslo! And honestly, Nils is lucky to have scored a girl as sweet as Natali. It was so great to stay with you guys! Until next time!

When your dreams come true in England

Ever since I was a young Gordy, I've wanted to go to England. I love Narnia, am a big fan of the queen (J.K. Rowling currently), and have spoken the English language almost fluently for most of my life.

And I'm not the only one who loves England. I've talked to lots of others who would love to skip rocks on the other side of the pond.

So what's it like to be in England? What is there 2 doo? WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE? Well, I'm about to let you kno.

My first three nights, I stayed on the beautiful London Temple apartments (or FLATS lol). The temple is 30 miles (or KILOMETERS lol) from London proper, but it's still a pretty rural area.

My face and the London temple!

View of the London Temple from a footpath.

I stayed here Saturday and Sunday and literally just walked around looking at how old, rural, and green (LUSH) everything is. I visited the nearby villages and pubs within walking distance of the temple.

The oldest buildings in East Grinstead, a village close to the temple.

England has a super nifty thing called "footpaths." They're just public trails that go through forests and fields, across pub decks and people's yards. Even though people have lived on this small island for thousands of years, the government has gone to great lengths to preserve its natural beauty, so there's plenty of trees and greenery to love. It's like being in a Beatrix Potter story. Just look for a "footpath" sign and follow.

A cool thing I saw on a footpath!

I went to London on Monday. I don't love big cities, so I only stopped by for a day visit. I rode into Victoria Station at noon-ish and walked to King's Cross Station by the end of the day. Walking is the absolute best way to see EVERYTHING -- touristy and otherwise. Along the way, I saw Westminster Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, the National Gallery, ate at an Indian restaurant, and went to Platform 9 3/4.

Westminster Cathedral

Westminster Abbey lol

It so big.

Me and one of them Trafalgar Square lions.

Supper at Emmaus by Caravaggio in the National Gallery (J.K. Rowling's fave painting).

Indian food! It was very good.

It's straight magic, promise.

From King's Cross, I took the Tube to Paddington Station, then rode a train up to Oxford to visit C.S. Lewis's home.

Oxford was one of the most amazing parts of my trip. The university is almost literally Hogwarts. It's hundreds of years old, but it's still going strong and its ancient buildings are still in use.

A library at Oxford University.

Just like Hogwarts.

Literal Hogwarts.

C.S. Lewis's home was great. I toured it and learned a lot about his life. A nature reserve dedicated to Lewis is right next to his home. These woods are said to be inspiration for Narnia. I definitely uglycried walking through them as I thought, "I'M IN NARNIA!!!"

Me in front of C.S. Lewis's home.

C.S. Lewis Nature Reserve.

I also visited the Eagle and Child, the pub where Lewis used to bash around story and philosophical ideas with his mates, including J.R.R. Tolkien. 

A great place to get drunk. jkjkjkjkjkjk!!!

In general, Oxford is such a cool city. It's very old and there's just such a cool feeling there.

England was everything I'd dreamed it would be and more. It was like stepping into my favorite books and stories I had as a kid (and still have). It rained at least twice a day, my feet weren't dry for a week, and I absolutely loved it. DREAMS COME FREAKING TRUE.

If you wanna see more Anglo pix, check out my tumblr: gordyyates.tumblr.com.